Birthdays

A few simple tips to help make birthdays as lucrative as possible.

As you get older, you are going to start getting money as a gift. You may actually start to get cash very early from grandparents that don’t want to go to a toy store.

As all the gifts are being unwrapped at your party and things are somewhat chaotic, your parents may also ask to “hold” your money for you so that it does not get lost amid all of the wrapping paper and envelopes. This is sound advice, but you must get a total in writing. If necessary, count the money with a witness present (preferably a licensed notary public) and document the total amount. If you do not, your parents will not remember the total amount later. As a result you will likely be helping to buy groceries and things you don’t even use, like soap.

PRO TIP: Learn your denominations! Granddad may be giving you large bills that your parents might swap out for singles if you are not diligent and attentive.

Eating

Follow these simple tips and you will be eating like a pro kid in no time.

Lunchtime and Other Snacks

Handling a meal is going to be situational depending upon if your parent is busy or not.

If your parent is busy doing something important, it is equally as important that you insist that you are starving. Actual hunger is not a prerequisite for this. Repeat your need for nourishment in a high, whiny voice until they acknowledge you.

On the other hand, if your parent is offering to make you something to eat, then your initial reaction is to state you are not hungry. They will probably ask two or three times. You must not waver. Insist that you are NOT hungry. Once they have made themselves something to eat and sat down, then and only then do you decide that you are hungry.

Dinnertime 

If you do not like what is being served for dinner, it is your duty to let everyone know about it. Your parents may try to trick you into trying something new. This is a trap. It will taste awful.

PRO TIP: Parents will often try to limit your daily intake of “treats” or sweets. They may claim this is for your health or to prevent cavities, but this overlooks the most important factor — That stuff tastes good. There are certain common household items that can be enjoyed surreptitiously with little risk. Some excellent examples of this are chocolate chips, marshmallows, and cake sprinkles. With proper planning and timing, the occasional handful of these can go undetected as long as care is taken to stop as soon as the bag or container falls below half full.